How to write your own wedding vows

If you need to write your own wedding vows stress can definitely arise. If you’re anything like me then standing up in front of a large group of people and speaking can be terrifying. Writer’s block is definitely real, especially when you sit down to put words together to describe how you feel about your partner. It can sometimes be very difficult to get what is on your heart out of your mouth.

When my husband I were married on April 24th, 2014 we did not write our own wedding vows. We had our officiant choose what he wanted us to say and we repeated. I kind of wish to this day that we both wrote something meaningful that we could then frame and put somewhere in our home. Our include it in our wedding album from our photos of that day. It was so much fun! We had family and friends from both sides and it was just one big happy party. That’s what we really wanted to do on our wedding day, celebrate!

Here are a few ideas that may help you write your own wedding vows that can show your fiance how you truly feel and touch the heart of your wedding guests as well. 

How to write your own wedding vows

  1. Agree with your partner on the tone you’re going to go with for your vows. Are you going to keep it sweet and serious? Add any funny moments or memories? Try to get everyone to cry or try to get everyone to laugh? 
  2. Sit down in a quiet place and start to think about the day you and your fiance first met. Close your eyes and envision how you felt when you first saw them. What did you talk about? Was there a special place you were at or an event taking place? Do you remember special things about them like a certain thing they were wearing or how they smiled? What was the first thing you noticed about them that caught your eye? When my husband and I first met it was in a country bar in Everett. Does anyone remember McCabe’s? It’s not there anymore sadly but it was a bar that had country music and line dancing downstairs and then a more Top 40 vibe upstairs. I was out with my Mom. Yep, my mom met my future husband the first time that I did. We got to chatting and I remember thinking how cute he looked in his baseball hat. If I’m being honest (and he’ll tell you this story too, he tells it way better than I do) I was attracted to his friend first. But I tried talking to his friend and there wasn’t really a connection. But there was definitely a connection between him and I so we kept talking, we danced, I kind of left my mom on her own actually ha! Sorry mom! But from that point on we have been together ever since. 17 years, two kids, and however many moves from state to state! It has been a fun, wild ride.
  3. Continue thinking through your relationship jotting down highlights and things that pop up in your head. Where is an important place you have together? Where did they propose and how did that make you feel? Or if you were doing the proposing how long did it take you to plan? Did you have a place in mind where you wanted to ask that was special to the both of you? Think about meaningful things that pop out here and jot them down in your notes as points you could talk about.
  4. Think about when you first knew that you wanted to marry this person. What about them brought that thought to your mind? How long did it take you? Was it immediate or did it happen over time? Incorporate this into your vows towards the end as a closer. Here are a couple examples. “I knew I wanted to marry you from the second I saw you at _______. I could just tell from the energy shining through you that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” “After we met and spent some time together experiencing the wonderful memories I just talked about, I knew I wanted to be with you forever. You are a light to my darkness, a laugh to my tears, and a story in my heart.”
  5. If you and your partner think you’d maybe like to keep your vows a little more traditional then definitely check out this post from A Practical Wedding 11 Traditional Wedding Vows that will inspire you. It is seriously SO helpful when you’re wanting to stay on the traditional side and have a religious aspect to your wedding that you would like to stick to.
  6. Take your notes and your rough draft and put them together into something more final! It’s easy for some people to just stand up there and speak from the heart but I know that I definitely need to be prepared. So I hope this helped you to put together some vows that you are excited to share on your wedding day.

If you’re looking for more tips for your wedding day or your wedding photos then check out First Look Wedding Photos. Should you do a first look or not? Here are reasons why you should!

Planning your own wedding and looking for a wedding photographer? Bookings & Inquiries at www.ambercarlphoto.com or just email me at ambercarlphotography@me.com

How to write your own wedding vows

July 2, 2021

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